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Thursday, July 21, 2016

New Website!

I started a website a few weeks ago.  PPDadventures.com.  That's the new home for my podcast and anything else related to maternal mental illness and wellness.  That's where I will write about my memoir.  There's also a page dedicated to the support group I am now running. If you are interested in anything PPD-related, head over to the website.

I'm excited about PPDadventures.com.

But I'm also excited to see what happens here next...

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Adventures with Postpartum Depression: Episode 6, The Importance of Community

I am running a peer-to-peer support group and we finally have a home. The group meets Thursdays, 2-3 p.m. at The Family Room.  The Family Room is located in San Marino (Pasadena's neighbor) at 2318 Huntington Drive. It is a resource center and community space for expectant parents and family.  The Family Room provides education and support before and after childbirth and the early years of childhood, from childbirth prep to breastfeeding support and play groups.  It is a safe and comfortable space for mothers to talk about mental health issues. 

I started this support group over two years ago but this feels like its true beginning. We have a home! A safe, air-conditioned home! No more chasing after toddlers in playgrounds.

My peer-to-peer group started originally on Meetup. There's an L.A. group and a Pasadena group. For now, I'm going to keep running these groups because it is just one more one for moms to find help. But honestly, they haven't been that successful for me. I'm ready to do more. I'm ready to build a strong support group that offers a safe community for moms struggling with postpartum depression.


Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Adventures with Postpartum Depression: Episode 5 Show Notes - The 2016 Climb Out of the Darkness

My podcast is now available on iTunes! Hooray! I'd do cartwheels if I knew how! (Is it possible to learn how to execute a cartwheel at the age of 37? Surely someone on YouTube wants to teach me. Or will I just kill myself if I try?) 

You can also still listen to this episode over on podomatic right here.

The Climb out of Darkness is the world’s largest event raising awareness of maternal mental illness like postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety and OCD, postpartum PTSD, postpartum psychosis, bipolar/peripartum onset and pregnancy depression and anxiety. It’s held on or near the longest day of the year annually to help shine the most light on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. 

The event features mothers and others across the globe joining together to climb mountains and hike trails to represent their symbolic rise out of the darkness of maternal mental illness and into the light of hope and recovery.

The event also raises money for Postpartum Progress, an awesome nonprofit doing some amazing work for moms suffering from maternal mental illness.  As of Wednesday, June 22, the event has raised $329,762. Team LA has raised $15,465.  (Go, Team LA!)  I raised $725.  (Woot woot!)  Next year, I’m aiming for $1000.  And hey, it's not too late to donate to the 2016 Climb. Head over HERE if you are feeling generous...
 
Team LA hiked to Amir's Garden in Griffith Park. 

Want to know more about what Postpartum Progress do with the money raised by the Climb?  Head over yonder.  

If you are interested in being interviewed for a future episode, email me at courtneyrachelnovak@gmail.com.  Postpartum depression is a lonely experience but remember, you are not alone.


Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Adventures With Postpartum Depression: Episode Four Shownotes

My latest episode is now available here for your listening pleasure. I submitted my show to iTunes last week, so hopefully it gets approved soon!

In this episode, I talk about the healing power of storytelling and how telling people I had postpartum depression helped me recover.

When I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, I was full of shame and did not want anyone outside my inner circle to know I had it. We were supposed to go to Nebraska for a wedding and had to cancel. Nathan told his family that he was too busy at work. I felt so guilty that we he had to miss the wedding and thought everyone would hate me if they knew the real reason why we stayed home.

I was diagnosed with postpartum depression in July 2013.  In Fall 2013, I slowly started telling people about my illness. I mostly told people over email. This had its pros and cons. On the one hand, people had the chance to process this information before reacting - which helped me avoid any negative reactions. On the other hand, most people responded to my news by not responding at all. That hurt. Now that I have some distance, I understand why people did not know how to handle my news. Mental illness is highly stigmatized and not something we often discuss. People did not respond to my emails about having PPD because they did not know how to respond.

In January 2014, I told a Mommy & Me class that I had postpartum depression. I had been attending this class since September 2013 and felt like I was missing out on some authentic friendships because the moms did not know about my illness. We were bonding over parenting issues, but I was concealing my biggest issue. Postpartum depression was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. If people don't know I had it, then they don't know me.

When I told the class about my bout of postpartum depression, I felt so relieved and happy. Afterwards, lots of moms hugged and thanked me. One mom told me I had just described her postpartum experience. She had not realized she had postpartum depression. Another mom told me I was very brave for being so vulnerable with the class.

I guess I was brave, but it did not feel that way. I had to share my story, just like I have to breathe air and drink water. I felt like I had to tell my tale or I would burst.

Shortly thereafter, I posted on Facebook that I had had postpartum depression and wanted to find a way to help other moms who have it. I received some likes and comments, but for the most part, my post was ignored. Again, people just don't know how to talk about mental illness so they ignore the subject. At the time, I was devastated by the mediocre response. Now I realize I was relying too much on the approval of others. Fuck approval! Confidence has to come from within or it's not actually confidence.

I started a meetup group and got to talk about my postpartum depression adventures with other moms who had suffered like me. That was wonderful and very cathartic. It is important to be heard. It is even more important to be understood.

At first, telling people I had postpartum depression was scary. Now, it's a non-issue. I love talking about it. It feels so good to talk about it. That's why I started this podcast.

I truly believe that talking about traumatizing experiences helps reduce any subsequent shame. Brene Brown talks about the healing power of storytelling in her wonderful book The Gifts of Imperfection. This book is not about postpartum depression, but I think it's very helpful to anyone suffering from PPD.

So you want to share your story to help you heal from postpartum depression? Here are my tips:

  • Know your audience. Share your story with a compassionate listener- think fellow mom who is open-minded, not your gossipy co-worker who thinks mental illness is a hoax.
  • Therapy is a great place to talk although it can get pricey. 
  • Start a blog and write your story for the entire world to read.
  • Tell your journal.
  • Tell me! Email me at courtneynovak@gmail.com. 
  • are you feeling super brave and pumped to tell your story? Tell it on my podcast! I want to interview moms about their adventures with postpartum depression and also have guest co-hosts to discuss the myriad of issues involved with PPD.
For further information about postpartum depression, check out Postpartum Progress

Postpartum depression is a lonely illness but remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Adventures With Postpartum Depression: Episode Three Shownotes

The third episode of Adventures With Postpartum Depression is now available HERE.

In this episode, I talk about how I recovered from postpartum depression:

  • I was hospitalized for four nights.
    • I attended group therapy daily.
    • My favorite activity was "occupational therapy" which was basically "arts and crafts for the depressed."
    • I got to exercise at the gym for 20 minutes every day. My psychiatrist told me to get my heart rate up to 160 once a day, so that is what I did.
  • I took Zoloft (100 mg) and Mirtazipane (30 mg).
  • I stayed at my parents' house for two weeks after I was discharged from the hospital.
  • My parents hired a doula to take care of Pippa so I could get lots of rest and enjoy some "me time".
  • My sister loaned me The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky. It gave me a lot of ideas for ways that I could defeat my depression.  I ordered myself a copy today because I want to reread it and always have it in my home library.
  • I met with a cognitive behavioral psychologist once a week for about seven months.  He helped me unravel all the OCD rituals that developed during the worst days of my PPD hell.  
    • I had homework assignments.
    • I had to turn my rituals to dust - e.g. since I had elaborate door-locking rituals, I had to stop checking the locks all together. I could not even glance at the door. I could not ask Nathan to lock the doors, but I was allowed to tell him "I'm going to bed now and I haven't checked the locks."
    • When I felt anxious about something, I hit my inner pause button and asked myself, "What is the worst case scenario? And how likely is it that the worst case scenario will actually happen?" After a couple of months, I rewired my brain. Anxiety stopped being my default setting.
  • I started writing my memoir about my adventures with postpartum depression.
  • I started a meet up group for moms with postpartum depression. This had limited success but it was still wonderful to meet local moms who have fought the same battles against PPD.
  • I joined the gym and started using the gym day care. Pippa played while I took Zumba classes.
  • I stuck with my original psychiatrist for almost two years. He kept pressuring me to run a peer support group through his office. I realized he was undermining my recovery. I cancelled my next appointment and found a new psychiatrist. Once I ended the toxic relationship with my first psychiatrist, I felt like I had finally completed my recovery from postpartum depression.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Adventures With PPD: Episode Two Show Notes

Episode Two of my weekly podcast Adventures With Postpartum Depression is now available for your listening pleasure HERE.

In this week's episode, I talked about my daily self-care checklist. Here is the list I created when I was pregnant with Julian and hung on my bulletin board:



And for those of you who can't read my handwriting (translation: everyone), the items on my checklist are:

  • fresh air
  • sunlight 
  • exercise
  • shower
  • listen to music
  • get silly with Pippa
  • doodle or draw or craft or knit
  • drink tons of water
  • write for ten minutes (by hand!)
  • sing a song
  • stretch
  • open windows
  • dance video on youtube 
I highly recommend Creativebug if you are looking for a way to bring some drawing or painting or crafting into your life. I've been especially loving their Daily Drawing Challenges. 

If you have any questions, please feel free to post them in the comments or email me at courtneyrachelhenning@gmail.com. I'd love to include Q&A in future episodes! Be sure to follow me on Instagram @courtney.novak for updates. 

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Adventures with PPD: Episode One, Show Notes

I started a podcasat - woot woot! It's called Adventures With Postpartum Depression and I think we can all take an educated guess as to what it's about. (It's about postpartum depression. That's clear from the title - right??)


If you want to listen, it's available right HERE. In case you want the actual URL, it is http://adventureswithpostpartumdepression.podomatic.com

I am going to get my show listed on iTunes and hopefully some other directories during the month of June, but for now, that's where you can find it.

And now, behold, the show notes for Episode One:

- The Climb Out of Darkness 2016 is happening on Saturday, June 18th. Iis the world’s largest event raising awareness of maternal mental illnesses like postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety & OCD, postpartum PTSD, postpartum psychosis, postpartum bipolar disorder, and pregnancy depression and anxiety. Climb Out is held on or near the longest day of the year annually to help shine the most light on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. The event features mothers and others across the globe joining together to climb mountains and hike trails to represent their symbolic rise out of the darkness of maternal mental illness and into the light of hope and recovery. Funds raised support the 501c3 organization Postpartum Progress (http://postpartumprogress.org)
- Go HERE if you would like to donate to my fundraiser 
- and go HERE if you would like to find a hike near you to participate 
- I highly recommend the book Postpartum Depression for Dummies by Shoshana Bennett. It's a great resource for anyone who has postpartum depression. It was my bible when I was recovering.
- If you would like to be interviewed for a future episode, fantastic! Leave a comment below or on instagram (courtney.novak) or email me at courtneyhenningnovak@gmail.com.